He's Just Not That Into You

I've recently inexplicably gained the role of trustworthy adviser for several wonderful ladies. See, they are still doing a great job at being profoundly womanly when it comes to love, infatuation and other similar drugs emotions. Which, how to put this nicely, causes them to momentarily be heartbreaking doofuses.

I honestly don't know what brought about this popularity of my recommendations. Could be my cynicism with regard to matters of the heart. Or my cold bloodiness in providing counselling to anyone's restless soul but my own. Perhaps my loudly declared conviction that sometimes, even a hint of a negative balance between costs and benefits is reason enough not to start, or settle for, anything else but absolute. Or just the fact that I happen to be there, with the rudeness of a truck driver, telling them what they don't want need to hear.

You see, I am by no means claiming to be some sort of scholar in the arts and crafts of handling true adoration, or more likely lack thereof. I just happened to learn one or two things whilst naively being at the receiving end of fifty shades of shit, and becoming the aforementioned doofus myself. To be clear, I am not referring to subtle hints, possible lose end situations or hidden meaning actions. I am talking here about the obvious, the coarse, the ugly.  Allow me to exemplify.

He is using internationally acknowledged language for what i like to call "on-the-hook-ness".My personal favorite is "Not right now". Which translates, with no exception, into "Oh, don't mind me, I know you have a ton of feelings so I will keep you pointlessly hung up here a little. Or a lot, I've not decided just yet."

He's sleeping with your sister. Or your best friend, who just so happens to be a guy. Or your pet goat. Or anyone else for that matter.

He set your car on fire. Or stole your wallet. Or drank the last beer.

He prioritizes anything and anyone else but you, and should you point it out he claims that you're an overly attached, delusional, suffocating person.

He is mindful of his own comfort at any cost. He is giving ridiculously little,yet feels entitled to the whole of your world, time, feelings, money, chocolate cake, vagina.

Should you, my dear, have ticked any of the above, (yes, including the beer), here's a thought to prevent you from imminent disillusion.

Maybe the timing is bad. Or he is a little broken. Perhaps he does not know how to express his feelings. Maybe this and that. But very likely and very simple, he's just not that into you.